Housebreaking Your Pet Fire-Breathing Dragon

How to get the best co-operation from their fire-breathing dragon, keeping both home and occupants safe.

Okay, so after looking over all the wonderful selections at the dragon hatchery, you settled on the cute golden-colored one that breathes fire--the little varmit! So, now, what to do next? Preparation is always best especially with combustible pets. I recommend using the lead-line pet carriers with the smoke stacks for transporting the fiery tyke home. Make sure you leave the windows down to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use any plastic or wooden pet carriers as this is just a bad accident waiting to happen. The carriers with lots of holes aren't recommended unless you like looking like the Human Torch. If you don't have a carrier, make sure the dragon is ONLY facing out an open window. Even though their flame puffs are small and short-lived, an occasional bad breakfast can literally cause quite a flare-up.

Once home, the dragons warm up (literally) to their new surroundings and also the occasional fellow pets. You might want to put protective gear on Fido or Muffy until little Pyro learns how to control himself unless you like the hairless look on your pets. It's important to keep a fire extinquisher on hand, not just to put out hot spots created by Pyro but for discipline. A spray in the snoot when he has scorched inappropriately will get his attention and eventually he will mend his ways.

As heĀ gets older and his flying ability improves, you'll want to let him know that flying in the house isn't acceptable unless you live in an aviary. Dragons have a great homing sense and can be great at delivering messages if you prefer to go medieval instead of Twittering. They are known to eat the occasional tree-climbing cat so be prepared for a few phone calls from the neighbors. It is not uncommon for a mailman or two to go missing but this is all just part of the fun of dragon ownership. It is best to surround them with children early to get them used to these rugrats rough play. Hardly a week goes by where some tail-grabbing toddler isn't rushed to the emergency room with third degree burns for irritating an otherwise well-behaving dragon. For a special treat, a little drink of kerosene will make your dragons day. Each dragon has his own charm and personality and follow these simple rules and your dragon will protect you and your family for centuries.

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Posted on Dec 1, 2010